The Y Story

This was insane, but I'm pretty sure my writing will not do it justice.

A couple weeks ago, I took the kids to the pool at the Y. They LOVE it and are giddy with excitement the entire hour we play. They both jump in the pool from the outside, holding only a noodle to keep them afloat; they both want to be dragged around like a boat; they go down the kiddie slide. It's exhausting, but fun.

We went into the family locker room to get showered and dressed after our swim. I no longer am naked in front of Cal, but try not to make a big deal out of it, so that I don't increase his curiosity. While the boys were in the shower, I quickly scrubbed their naked selves up and then washed myself, while still wearing my bathing suit. They started marching around the shower, yelling "penis! penis! penis!" laughing hysterically. I only let them talk like that in the bathroom, and since we were in a bathroom, of sorts, I let it go and tried to hurry. Then I felt something warm on my leg. I looked down and saw Ike, legs spread, knees bent, hips thrust, peeing on me. I shouted, "ISAAC!" and moved out of the way. Since he didn't keep aiming at me, I didn't scold him, not knowing if the first time was an accident. Again, I just tried to hurry up.

I let the kids continue playing in the shower and I stepped out of it and closed the curtain so I could get changed. Of course, the second I was undressed, Cal peeked out and yelled, "I see her booty!" laughing hysterically, again. Ike looked out and they both started shouting "Booty! Booty! Booty!" I finally stuck my head inside the curtain and said, "If you can't learn to give me privacy, we will NOT come back!" They kept playing and left me alone while I quickly got dressed.

I was ready to get them out and moved the shower curtain back. I found Calvin pumping the foam soap dispenser into Ike's hair. It was completely covering Ike and they were both laughing. The foamy soap was on Ike's hair, all over his face, all over his shoulders and on the floor. He must have pressed it 100 times. I stuck Ike under the shower and demanded that he look up (lots of complaining from him about that) and pulled them both out and got them dressed.

I am taking them swimming again this week and will talk to them about what is acceptable behavior. No soap. No penis talk (only at home, I guess????). No laughing at mom's naked booty. We'll see how it goes.