Worst Mom of the Year Award

I was running a bath for Cal and Isaac and they were hanging out in the bathroom. I heard Isaac, "Suck, suck, swallow, suck, suck, slurp." I had set down his sippy cup in the hallway and assumed that he had that. Nope. He had pulled a piece of toilet paper out of the toilet (I probably don't need to mention there was pee in there) and was sucking on it as the wet t.p. dripped down his front.

I yelled, grabbed the toilet paper and washed my hands. I turned around to finish the bath and Isaac, in the few seconds I had my back turned, had my razor in his mouth and was chewing on it.

Please comment with your worst mom (or parent) award so that I can feel better about myself.